time for us
by Ilara Zadlo
Summary: sb falls through the veil and meets a mysterious girl there. he falls for her and is taken back to real world. is she there for him? will he find her. rr
1. Default Chapter

This is a brand new story, you probably know that I got used to OotP and now I spend my precious time on making up ways in which SB returns.  
  
Because SB is not dead!!!!  
  
Of course, I own... bla bla bla... only my characters.  
  
SUMMARY:  
  
Behind the veil, on his way to heaven or somewhere, SB meets a woman. He sees only her sad, green eyes, but immediately understands that she is his reason to live. He is found in the Ministry alive and decides to look for that girl though nobody believes it's possible (both: to find her and to be sure he's in love). Will he find her? Will she love him?  
  
Enjoy and review!!!  
  
TITLE: TIME FOR US  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
It was a long, dark, wet tunnel. The walls were made of stone and there was no pavement, but some kind of muddy ground. HE found it disgusting. And, to his astonishment, nobody else seemed to notice that or care about. In fact, everyone else in this place looked like ghosts, however their colours and transparency were different from ghosts he used to know. They all knew where to go. Nobody turned back. They all followed some kind of force. It lead them to the better world, Sirius was sure of that, peaceful and fearless. Trouble less.  
  
He felt something strange. He felt that he was different from the souls (because, he didn't know why, but he was just sure about it, this confidence made him happy, he wanted to believe in souls, in other world where those, who had died, live happily ever after), the immaterial creatures that surrounded him. He felt dirty and humanlike. He touched his body (he had to trust this sense, because he was unable to see anything but the ghosts) with his hands and then, just to compare, he touched the walls: he could feel the material they were made of, the walls and his body. And it definitely was real. He was angry, he was so mad. Why wasn't he a happy, willing soul as all the other dead people? Why had somebody decided, without even bothering to ask him, that he wasn't good enough to be totally, completely DEAD? He wanted so much to die and to follow those people to that paradise or something. He wanted to die exactly in this way and he couldn't have chosen a better moment. He felt so lonely, useless, immature in the world. He failed in every single field, he tried. He was unable to save the people he loved, his best friends; the other of his friends who was still alive was much more mature and understood so much more that Sirius found it often hard to talk to him.  
  
His worst failure was that, because of his arrogance, pride and risky way of life, he was totally unable to protect his godson. At first, he allowed all the bad people to send him to Azkaban and couldn't take care of Harry's childhood. Then, he still behaved like a teenage prank-player, when Harry needed a friend and a father. Harry knew and experienced so many tragic things and was still clever and thought right. And he was brave, not risky. He was more mature than his almost-40-year-old godfather. Sirius could've been the best at school, he knew he was intelligent and bright minded, but there was god damn part of his soul that made it difficult for him to behave reasonably and properly. The tears appeared in his eyes, because he suddenly realised something: he was so egoistic that he wanted to be dead. He thought he was wrong, as usual, he imagined that Harry needed him no more and would be happier without him. Oh, how stupid Sirius was. He judged things wrongly: he thought Harry needed a godfather he wanted to be but in fact he needed Sirius.  
  
"Yes, my good old mate Padfoot," he whispered to himself, "as always you were wrong."  
  
And now he was standing alone in the crowd of happy souls who were approaching their perfect destination. He was standing and wondering whether he should follow them or go back, but how was he to go back? He had no idea how he happened to be there, he remembered falling through the veil, and then, after hours or so of blackout, he found himself there. He was lost. He wanted to move, but the mud on the ground stuck him. The colourful ghosts weren't paying any attention to his trial to get out of that place. He tried to ask what he should do (well, after so many years of self-convenience, he finally understood that there's no shame in asking questions), but he was invisible to them, he thought.  
  
"Great," he thought. "I wanted to die, so I'm here, definitely not totally dead. And surely if I wanted to turn back the time, I would be happily dead in heaven with my friends, waiting for others... what!?"  
  
-- * -- * -- * -- * -- * --  
  
A young, slender, lost lady found herself in a cold (how could she feel temperature, she was supposed to be dead). She could remember quite clearly that she'd been shot with a Muggle gun into the chest. The man who shot was an old Polish supporter of Voldemort, who she was fighting against. She recalled her unsuccessful trials to convince Polish Ministry of Magic to announce Voldemort's return, but nobody listened to her and Maltcshock, pure-blood stupid fan of Dark Lord's, wanted to get rid of the only person in such a big country who was for peace and Dumbledore and against war, fear and death.  
  
Her life wasn't happy, especially since she was informed about Voldemort's return. She found herself always lonely, even with people she called friends or family. Lonely, completely lost and armless. She was mentally prepared for death and she was quite sure she wouldn't fight even if she wasn't astonished by the shot.  
  
But, if she wanted to die and was prepared, why wasn't she able to be like all the happy souls that flew round her, following their heaven destination.  
  
She was walking slowly in the direction the ghosts showed, close to the stone wall. Her fingers were enjoying the touch of cold material and the sudden touch of warm, human-like object made her stop.  
  
-- - -- - ** * ** * -- - -- -  
  
He looked around, because he felt somebody touched him. None of the souls could have done that. And then, in the darkness, he saw a shape of another person, different from the passing creatures. He wanted to touch her, but was unable to move. He thought it was a woman not only because she was smaller than him, but because of the peace that appeared with her arrival. Was she, too, ALMOST dead?  
  
He was staring at her, he couldn't see exactly how she looked. In the shadow of the tunnel only her eyes were visible to him. She lifted her head and gazed at him. Sirius was totally unable to take his eyes from her. She had big, beautiful and endlessly sad eyes in the colour of grass. They were calmly green. He tried to smile to her, to talk to her, to touch her, but was unable to do anything but stare.  
  
She was also stuck and willing to talk to him. But she was unable. At first she could have walked and talked to herself in the long, wet tunnel and now, when she really wanted to ask him, who he was, what was he doing there, she couldn't open her mouth. She wondered if he had the same problem, because the man didn't speak, too. All she could do was to stare into his deep, warm, chestnut brown eyes. Her first impression of his eyes was the mixture of anger (that he was there?) and sadness (because he died, or because of something he'd done, she couldn't tell).  
  
Suddenly, she felt that forgotten tenderness appeared deep in her heart, like a fresh breeze. Oh, she needed no fresh air, she was to be dead, she definitely wasn't to fall in love after her own death! Afterwards, well, after the discovery of a feeling towards the man, she felt sadness, that the happiness she could have met on Earth was gone, because she was dead. She never met a man she could have fallen in love with and meeting him right now, on their way to heaven, was hugely unfair, it was a complete misunderstanding, it...  
  
** - ** - ** - ** -  
  
Sirius couldn't talk to her so he decided to read from her eyes. They were amazing to him and so beautiful. Why haven't he met her before? Was she a witch on Earth? He immediately understood that he would sink in her eyes forever, that a place, where she was, was (or rather: would have been) a perfect place for him. He FORGOT about the problems that'd been troubling him all his way in the tunnel. Because, and he felt younger, lighter and happier at that thought, there were no other matters but their happiness. Every other thing, everyone else in the world could go on without him, but she was the person he should have lived and cared for.  
  
But they were both dead, and Sirius thought that God, or whoever ran the whole universe, played an ironical joke on him: he, Sirius Black, finally fell desperately in love, and (that was the joke) he was no longer alive.  
  
"That's so unfair, baby," he thought staring into her understanding eyes. "We should've met before. We... Fuck, this is an insane misunderstanding and why..."  
  
He was not allowed to finish his thought. An invisible force pulled him backwards and upwards. He caught the very last glance of the girl, she was, too, frightened, and was being taken by the same or similar force in a different direction. A second later he must have fainted, because he remembered no more.  
  
AN  
  
Did ya like that? Read on and review!!!! 


	2. sb is back!

One: Sirius Black is back!!!!  
  
-- * // * \\ * -- * // * \\ * --  
  
'This is amazing, what is he doing here?'  
  
'Is he alive? How can he be alive?'  
  
'Should we call Aurors?'  
  
'no, he's been cleared'  
  
'But he was supposed to be dead. I...'  
  
The people, visitors and employees, in the entrance hall of the Ministry of Magic were crowding around the fountain, gossiping the most unusual and surprising appearance of man's body on the edge of the pool. They were talking, but nobody wanted to move and act first. Until...  
  
'What's going on?' Arthur Weasley came on that day a little later and was astonished by the crowd that unable him to get into. When the people moved backwards (none of them wanted to be known as curious spectator), Weasley swore. 'Oh, fuck! Is he alive?' there was of couse no answer because none of the hundreds of people bothered to check Sirius' pulse. 'Tonks' he turned to a violet haired lady that followed him, 'Quick, let know at St. Mungo's, I'm taking him there. And Dumbledore, and' he hesitated a while 'at the, you know. They should know too.'  
  
Tonks nodded, unable to say a word. She wanted to laugh because of the happiness. If Sirius Black was back, maybe they had a chance to win this time. Voldemort and his supporters wanted so madly to hurt Harry Potter and the Order members and were so sure they won. And now, with the return of Sirius, their grates victory was their greatest fall!  
  
She disapparated with a loud "pop" and Arthur, helped by some good people, took the unconscious body of Sirius to the hospital. He was not sure whether Black was alive, or if he wanted ever to be turned back to life. Sirius was pale as a white wall, his lips were more gray than pink and they could hardly hear the beats of his heart. He was also very cold and his clothes were torn and dirty. But Arthur couldn't help noticing that Sirius was very calm. Unusually calm, indeed.  
  
** / / / ** / / / ** / / / ** / / /  
  
'What do you think, Professor?' finally asked Mr. Weasley, though all of the gathered people wanted to hear Headmaster's opinion about it. Tonks, Lupin, Shacklebolt and the Weasleys were all staring at Dumbledore's face, which, as so often, was totally uncanny. He was either amused or confused or was enjoying the moment and whole situation. He said nothing for a while. He was observing through the glass wall that divided them from Sirius' room the job that the healers were doing around Black. He was not sure what to think about it. He was happy, of course but it was strange that dead people came back from heaven, unconscious, but definitely alive. The healers were convinced that Sirius was in a special type of coma, which had no influence on his body (only the lack of air and food made him weaker). They supposed he didn't want to wake.  
  
'I would like to wait until he wakes up,' began Dumbledore thoughtfully. 'All I know are suspicions, and it means that I know nothing. Yes, I've never heard about such case before. And I must admit that I'm happy it'd happened to Sirius.'  
  
'But it isn't normal that the veil threw him away, just like that, is it?' Tonks asked nervously while the others were waiting for a little bit more of Albus' words.  
  
'No, Nymphadora' the Headmaster was the only one who dared calling her like that. 'Definitely not normal. But amazing. Amazing, indeed. We have to wait,' he turned to the rest. 'We have to go back to work as well, but I'm sure one of you will always be here and wait for him to...'  
  
He stopped for a while, deep in his thoughts, but soon continued.  
  
'To wake. Yes. And try not to tell others, I hope it will be a secret till he recovers. Anyone.'  
  
'You mean' Remus asked slowly. 'That there is a possibility that he won't?' his voice trembled. Dumbledore gazed at him and slowly nodded.  
  
'We... we cannot be sure if it won't happen, these parts of magic, connected with life have their own ruled. But' he smiled at last. 'Let's hope.'  
  
** -- ** -- ** -- **  
  
Remus Lupin was sitting on a chair in lifeless Sirius' room, reading paper. It was hi third night there, almost a fortnight after Black's return. Sirius' condition didn't change and nothing seemed that it would soon. They couldn't, of course, keep it all quiet, the papers wrote about the incident the day after. And they couldn't keep Harry away from the news: he was informed and was so excited. Remus was afraid that Harry had too many expectations and they could not happen. Sirius was probably not to wake and live. Headmaster forbid Harry, and any of the youth, go into the Hospital, he wanted them safe. And till Sirius wasn't able to speak about the whole situation, the situation was dangerous.  
  
Remus had those thoughts too. What if it had something to do with Dark Arts? Not only with the ancient power of veil? He knew it worried Dumbledore, but they had no chance to verify it with Sirius ill and unconscious. And he was out cold with no symptoms of recovery. Lupin had been slowly getting over the second loss of best friend and wasn't sure if he could manage it once again.  
  
He was tired after a long day and must have fallen asleep, uncomfortably on the chair, when an odd sound woke him up. He looked around and spotted Sirius, who definitely came round, sitting on the hospital bed, bewildered and stunned.  
  
'Sirius, thank G..' Remus begun, but hoarse voice of Sirius interrupted him. He was looking around, as if he was seeking something.  
  
'Where is she, Remus, where's she gone?' he asked with panic and wanted to get out of bed, but Remus was quick enough to stop him and then he inquired softly. Poor mate, was he still bringing to mind the sight of Bellatrix Lestrange, fighting against him and killing him?  
  
'Calm down, it's ok, Padfoot. Almost a month had passed since that battle and they were all gone, quiet, Lestrange too...'  
  
Sirius tried to get out of his hold and run away but at the sound of that name he stopped and glanced at friend with disbelief.  
  
'Who were talking about that idiot Lestrange?' he asked and Lupin could only complain in mind about the behavior of his friend, who looked as if he paid no respect to someone who had killed him.  
  
'So who did you mean?'  
  
'The girl...' Sirius grumbled. 'The girl with green eyes, in the tunnel... Was she here?'  
  
'Sirius, I have no idea who're you talkin' about? Quiet, it must have been a dream...'  
  
'IT WAS NOT A DREAM!!! I HAVEN'T DREAMT, I MET HER...'  
  
* - * - * - * -  
  
'Are you sure?' asked Dumbledore, who visited St. Mungo's as soon as he'd been informed about Sirius improvement. 'It really could have been a dream and you weren't dead.'  
  
'Of course I weren't dead, but I wasn't alive either. And I wasn't dreaming.' He was speaking calmly now, because he understood HIS woman must have been thrown to another place. 'I met her there, in the same condition as me, and I believe that she, or rather the... things...I felt enabled me to come back... Will you understand me please, Professor?  
  
Dumbledore gazed at him with sympathy. He needed to tell Sirius what he thought, even if it would hurt him. He knew he had to do it because he'd learnt that avoiding to tell means often troubles.  
  
'I don't know to answer, Sirius. Even your return is mysterious. Your story would suit it, just as anything else. And nobody here has experience in such matters. I think' he hesitated. 'The image, and please don't irritate yourself, might have been a display of your hidden desires. Let us just be happy because of your recovery.'  
  
'I don't know, why should I be pleased with the fact that everyone thinks I'm out of mind falling in love with a dreamy image or something.'  
  
'Sirius, don't get angry...' began Remus when they were left for alone talk once again.  
  
'Rest' said Sirius sarcastically. 'take care, think of nice things. Man, I can't think of anything else!'  
  
*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/  
  
Whenever Sirius was left alone and he closed his eyes he could picture the eyes of unforgettable girl, whom he did not know and who was doubted to exist. He dreamt about her in the night and could picture the most wonderful moment of their meeting. He imagined her walking through his door, accidentally touching him in Muggle subway, sitting down by him in a pub. These images changed, but he was in constant dreaming state. Visits annoyed him, but he was very thankful that people came to him.  
  
'Siriuuuuus!!!!' shouted Harry as he ran into the room. He jumped on the bed and hugged his godfather strongly. 'I thought I lost you!'  
  
Sirius hugged him back and felt unbelievably calm; not as calm as with the girl, though, for the first time he felt he could manage being godfather. He smiled.  
  
'You'll never lose me, Harry. I'll always be there for you.' He said those popular words but understood their meaning as never before. 'And I won't be that stupid again' he laughed.  
  
'It was me who was stupid, Sirius' said Harry seriously sitting on the edge of his bed. Sirius laughed once again. 'Stop laughing!' Harry was almost irritated. 'I feel so embarrassed and so relieved.'  
  
'Harry, you don't have to be that clever at the age of' he hesitated 'sixteen. Look, I've missed again your birthday!'  
  
'Oh, it doesn't matter, man! Just, don't change the subject.'  
  
'All my life I've been changing subjects, even though I'm the one who always says what he thinks. I was offered another chance and I'm not gonna waste it!'  
  
**//**--**//**--  
  
Sirius was still in the centre, the medical treatment was doing him well, but he had to be still under observation. He was reading papers, the most funny were those from the week after he "died". Strange journalist were writing about how brave he was, he, who had been mistreated so long! And the same people wrote about Voldemort and Fudge's plans what to do (Sirius smiled, that were Dumbledore's plans, of course). He enjoyed other information as well. For example, extraordinarily, the Quidditch League was won by Manchester Dragons, first time in the history.  
  
He didn't want to read about the Order, he knew that the news he obtained from the members were truer. It surprised him, but the papers wrote about the school. They were worried that the headmaster was left without DADA teacher again and were wondering who should take the post. The Minister, how astonishing!, decided to leave the matter to Dumbledore, who said that was very happy about that and asked the magical society not to worry.  
  
'They're really worried about you' Sirius laughed. Albus acted as he didn't heard.  
  
'And I'm worried about you. Are you fine.'  
  
'I've never been better! So, have you got a teacher?'  
  
'Yes...'  
  
'Oh... I see'  
  
'And I must say that I'm quite content.'  
  
'Hmm, that's good' said Sirius in a tone "that's bad"  
  
'Sirius, if I let you teach them I would get an army of new radicals! I need wise people.'  
  
'I am wise.'  
  
'And not impulsive at all. You're needed in the Order.'  
  
'What? You need a secretary?' Black was angry.  
  
'Leave it, you know I couldn't act differently. Now the situation has changed and you'll get your own missions. We have to plan everything and we have to be careful. You know I trust you, and that is why you're gonna be in the middle of the war. I need no more fighters in the school. They're needed outside.'  
  
'Right' said Sirius but was not disappointed anymore. He felt needed once again. Dumbledore left their speech about the girl and did not want to talk about her anymore, but, still Sirius felt needed. 'So, who's the teacher?'  
  
'a nice lady from Poland, she was my person for the Central Europe. She left her previous work and is ready to start here. She's a really good choice, Sirius. And she's going to be the teacher to remember.'  
  
**********  
  
Reviewwwww!!!!!!!!! 


	3. yulia perun goes to london

Two: Yulia Perun goes to London.  
  
-*/ -*/ -*/ -* /-* /  
  
A group of exhilarated people gathered in hospital room and was discussing something loudly. They seemed not to notice that on the bed laid a seriously injured woman. They were wondering how was it possible that she survived.  
  
(the talks are in Polish on in other Central European wonderful language. Enjoy!!!!)  
  
'It's really wonderful. And it's a miracle!' shouted and elderly, chubby man in violet robes. 'And after that Muggle treatment!'  
  
'She was in a Muggle hospital?' asked with laughter young, blonde haired girl. 'How?'  
  
'I told you, Ella' answered silently a worried, thirty-or-so-year-old man with short, red hair. 'She was found by some Muggles and she was shot with a Muggle gun so I think it's good she was taken there. They stopped the bleeding. Jan' he turned to another guy, tall and handsome' take her away, she's too loud.'  
  
'She's too happy to be quiet' muttered the man called Jan and took the girl by the hand. 'She's always loud when she's happy, Rob'  
  
'Doesn't matter' said Rob. 'I don't wanna know.'  
  
The two left and Rob now asked the healer, a middle-aged woman in thick glasses and white costume.  
  
'Is she going to wake up?'  
  
'She's so much better now. She breaths by herself and we think she's no longer in coma but sleeps.'  
  
'Please, let me know when she wakes' interrupted the old man. 'I'd like to know. I still can't believe...'  
  
'That she was right?' smiled lightly Rob. 'Sure, I'll send an owl, Minister.'  
  
'Thank you, Mr Bem. I hope you'll both take good care of her.'  
  
--**--**--**--  
  
Robert Bem was sitting on a chair next to her bed. To Yulia Perun's bed. She looked so small and so weak. So lonely. Her hair was lying messy on the pillow and her face was almost as white as the sheets. He couldn't see her eyes, but her lips were half open and also very pale. She had lost lots of energy and blood. She almost lost her life too, and the improvement in her condition was amazing. He stroked her hand gently, he knew she wouldn't like that but she was not awake, she did not know.  
  
'It's senseless' he thought about sitting there longer. He needed rest and food and air. He wanted to leave her for a while, but then she saw her moved. A moment later, Rob, taken aback, jumped on his chair, because Yulia sat on her bed, looked unconsciously around and asked:  
  
'Where's he?'  
  
'Here' Rob threw himself towards her and grabbed his hand. He felt tears of joy in his eyes. 'I'm here babe. Lie, lie down.'  
  
'The man' she spoke paying no attention to the man. 'Not you, Rob, the man with brown eyes, is he...'  
  
'Yul, lie down and I'll call the healer. None was here, you must've had a bad dream.'  
  
He hurried to call for the healer and couldn't hear her whispering.  
  
'Where are you? I need you...'  
  
** * ** * ** * * **  
  
'What do you mean?' shouted angrily the Minister, Lucas Catman, 'You can't leave, Yulia. You're so needed here!'  
  
Yulia was sitting on her bed with papers and letter lying around. She held a cup of hot tea in her hands and was watching the Polish Minister for Magic with terror. The plump man on the chair was moving nervously and she wondered whether he fell first or the chair broke.  
  
'I said I was leaving. I don't wanna work here anymore. I've got to move. I was given a special chance by my God or something and I don't want to waste it!'  
  
'But think. You have a good work, perfect salary, you're making a career...'  
  
'Career???' Yulia yelled though she didn't like to raise her voice. 'A ministry post isn't career, I make no improvement, I'm stuck with silly duties, I have no possibility to do things I like or things that are needed and urgent. I've had enough.'  
  
He answered and began one of his preaching talks that lasted for hours, about responsibility, country, career, and so on. Yulia didn't bother to listen. She had really had enough. She had worked for him ever since. When she graduated from school (and she went to the most pro-DA academy in the world: Drumstrang) she got a scholarship that enabled her to work on defence methods and soon she became one of the world's best specialist on how to defend mentally. It was already after Voldemort's fall and nobody wanted anymore to be taught DADA in the way she offered. Then, the Minister spotted her and offered, which was so unusual, because she was only 24 then, a job at the Ministry. She became a head of DA department. She wanted to do so much in the place, but soon understood she would not heal the world. She knew she failed when she was younger (she still believed her mother was killed because of her lack of thinking), and yet she understood she would fail now as well because nobody was interested in fighting with the evil. Her mother, Alicia Perun, dealt with the results of use of Dark Arts. She was not popular of course among Voldemort supporters and to make her situation worse, she married a Muggle architect. Everything was to be all right, the fall of Dark Lord stopped the fights and they were to be safe. That's why Yulia decided to go on holidays with her friend from school, a Spanish girl, and left house, though. Though one of her school mates, Alexy Karkaroff (yes, the future headmasters' younger brother!) told her to beware the holidays, told her that the traitors would die. It was a threaten and Yulia informed her mom. But she decided not to worry. When Yulia received another letter from the guy, stating that it would happed the day after, she left for home and came a minute too late.  
  
She was 15 years old.  
  
'I know, you were offered a job by Dumbledore, but you shouldn't leave for England...'  
  
She caught one senseless sentence of Catman and drifted away. She warned the Minister over two years: she believed in the rumours that Albus spread all over Europe and it of course turned out to be real. The Ministry here, and as she knew: nowhere, believed in such things, so any country officially fought.  
  
But Yulia did. She convinced people: her friends, and other reasonable members of Ministry. She followed the ex-Voldemort supporters to find out if they'd joined him again. And one of them, a really important man, a businessman that delivered potion ingredients to the ministry, called Vlad Dutko, shot her with a gun because he knew she knew he was an active Deatheater. He wanted her dead and her recovery, and the fact that all people now understood she was right, made him hide somewhere. He would be under arrested the moment he was found.  
  
Yulia was a little upset that she must have almost died for all of them to believe. And she must have almost died to understand herself that somewhere was her chance, with wonderful brown eyes, to be happy. And she knew he wasn't waiting for her here.  
  
'No, please, Minister, I always wanted to teach and it's so perfect Dumbledore offered me the post. We will all rest from each other. And you will manage to organize everything the way you like and the ay that will be successful. I know. I have to go...'  
  
'And what about your friends, uh? What about that nice Bem boy? He likes you.'  
  
'He loves me, Minister. And that's why I have to go, too. It hurts him when I'm here.'  
  
The Minister shook his head with disbelief. The girl could have had everything here: a great job, and he would allow her to do things she wanted to do to protect the people from Dark Arts, important position at the age of thirty, and a man who loved her more than anything else.  
  
'Bem told me about your... vision, Yulia. I don't think it's good to follow something unreal, impossible.'  
  
Yulia listened no more. Every time she closed her eyes she could see the most marvellous, gorgeous eyes of unknown man she believed existed. Somewhere. Not here. Yulia wasn't sure if she loved him, she didn't know she could take a risk to love. But she knew she needed to risk finding him, because she couldn't risk loosing him. Terrible, she sighed.  
  
-*//*--*//*--*//*--*//*--*//*-  
  
'Don't go, Yulia, my dearest Yulia.' Rob was sitting next to her, trying to hold her hand. But she was leaning away from him, taking her hand away, waving it. She was livid and irritated. She thought, or rather hoped that she would be weaker, that she would easier fall in love with him. Or decide to be with him, because she needed someone. In fact he expected everything but that. She became more independent and wanted to leave and begin her own life.  
  
'Please, Rob, go. Stop talking like that and go. Just, leave me.' She turned away. He still tried to look into her eyes.  
  
'You've changed, Yulia, but I still love you and I want to be there for you. Forget about that man from coma dream and...'  
  
'STOP TALKING LIKE THAT' she shouted and he was shocked even more. 'This is me. Real me! I'm not the one you all thought you've created! And I want to do things for myself. The job in England is for me. The fight against Voldemort is for me. The man I need is somewhere for me and I know that. And you're definitely not for me. And I'm not yours. You all have imagined me and wanted me to be as you liked. But that's the end of that. I'm leaving.'  
  
'Now, this is ridiculous' replied Rob quietly. 'You're still sick, I know, you will change...'  
  
'Robert,' she said almost pleadingly. 'Stop deceiving yourself! I don't want our friendship to be finished like that. You're still my best friend...'  
  
'Please, baby' he sniggered 'Why should I be your friend if you don't wanna sleep with me.'  
  
Yulia laughed. And laughed and laughed. The man was crazy, completely insane. And she had really thought he was her friend. Now it seemed obvious that through all those years he still wanted to shag her (they tried to be together few times, but Yulia always found that awful and leading to nowhere).  
  
'Bye, Rob, and say good-bye to Jan and Ella.'  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  
  
'You're going, Yula?' asked a grey-haired, slender-handed man.  
  
'Dad, please stop calling me like that. It's YULIA!!' she laughed and stroke her father's hand. 'So, Monica and kids are on holidays?'  
  
'Yeah, they needed rest, and I'm resting now too' he added with a wink. 'It's a shame you won't say good-bye.'  
  
'I'll be writing. I'll be visiting you. You know, magicians have their ways to drop in more often.'  
  
'But, please, not every day. Tell me truth, honey. The people who murdered Alicia returned?'  
  
Yulia was moved when he mentioned her mother. They rarely spoke about her because Yulia felt guilty and was always sad. He father of course did not believe at all in his daughter's fault, but tried not to make her more sadder than she was. Yulia had always been a very sad, looking for something girl. She was still sad when she was making her perfect career at the ministry and she was sad with her friends.  
  
'Yes, dad. That's why I was almost killed. And that's why I'm leaving. They want nothing from Poland. The fighting centre in GB and I'm needed there. Look, they really need me!' she added with satisfaction.  
  
'I'm glad to hear that. Are you happy, now, Yula?'  
  
'I would be happy if such people didn't exist. But I'm happier.'  
  
'I can see that!! You're so much calmer now, and you smile. You have a wonderful smile, baby, like your mom had. You should do it more often! So, why is it?'  
  
'I met a man and I think I'm in love.'  
  
'Wow, at last sweetie, at last! Love is a wonderful thing.'  
  
'Now I know that.'  
  
'Who is the happy man?'  
  
'Why happy?' Yulia laughed but soon her laughter disappeared. 'I don't know.'  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
hahaha! What d'ya think?????? Revieeeew!!!!! 


	4. interlude: the trip

A/N: Are curious what will happen when Yulia and Sirius meet? You'll have to wait, ha ha ha!!!!  
  
Three: Interlude – the trip  
  
Yulia took the train. She had never before gone on trip on the famous East- West Magical Train Route that took Wizards and Witches from Warsaw to London. Probably International Floo Network would have been faster, less tiring, but it didn't matter to Yulia. Slower trip meant a farewell to her. A farewell to Poland she used to know and love, a Poland with all its good and (mainly) bad and painful memories.  
  
She had only a small suitcase with herself, filled with the most personal things, like favorite quills, beloved books, photos, and other theoretically insignificant stuff. Her clothes, heavier books and notes were sent few days before and were waiting for her somewhere in London. Or at Hogwarts.  
  
She sat by the window, allowed her mind to drift, and her eyes were watching the landscape half-consciously.  
  
Her compartment was wonderful, it consisted of a bed with marvelous, white sheets with tiny roses stamps, a cupboard, comfortable chair and a kitchen window through which she could order her meals. She wanted no meals. Her antibiotics therapy was over and she helped herself with a bottle of good, old, Hungarian wine. The bitter taste of late summer fruit made her wonder if it was possible to get such wines in England. She hoped not only French and Rein wines were available.  
  
'I can still ask Veareen to send me some of Bulgarian' she smiled, relaxed because the great medicament called wine was working. But a thought of her Bulgarian friend disrupted the peace. Yulia recalled her last hours in Poland.  
  
Last weeks were awful: she was still recovering, had to pack her things, quarreled with friends and employer about the reasons why she leaved (nobody, nobody in the world believed she MET there a man she loved and all of them thought it was only an excuse to go away). But she knew she met him, she knew she loved him and, under her skin, she felt he wasn't waiting for her in Poland.  
  
She wasn't sure he was waiting for her in London, too. He could have been anywhere: the States, Australia, he could be a refugee in Argentina or businessman in Japan. Yulia was sad. She knew why she was sad in Poland: because she was alone and wasn't looking for the man. But now she was leaving, why the hell was she so depressed?  
  
She smiled ironically to her blurry mirror on the glass, hardly visible on the running-away landscape of yellow, yes it was August at the time, fields and green, huge trees. Dreamy rivers and lazy birds sitting on the electricity lines. The landscape was steady, eternal and, that's most important, earnest. Nothing more was earnest to her. Her life was insincere. Strange...  
  
The view annoyed her. Because it was telling her, she won't be more peaceful there, where she was going. The anxiety, loneliness won't disappear, just like that. She was apprehensive while she was more reasonable than she should be and she knew it was an impossible job to find a man out of few billions.  
  
[][][][][][][][][][]  
  
And the birds were singing their farewell. Loudly or silently, sweetly or piercingly. They were flying here and there, assisting the train in the way dolphins accompanied the ships. The were looking through the windows, trying to guess people's points of view however they were completely uninterested in their thoughts and feelings. They were laughing and crying, commenting or watching. Indifferent or annoyingly curious were discussing the life. Some of them were sure, Yulia was doing right, some of them, contrarily, laughed at her, silly and idealistic. Yulia laughed at them, too. They meant nothing to her and their accusations of being too romantic were too ridiculous to be treated seriously.  
  
{}{}{{}{}{}{}{}{}{}  
  
For Yulia wasn't romantic at all: she went to school, then studied then worked. She had several affairs, but none of them she could have called romantic. It was rather like being with somebody's body, like talking to different mind: everything but romance. She talked reasonably about her ambitions and plans, she was interested in politics and classical music; she knew Geography and had her opinion on every subject. And when she judged things, she judged wisely. Because she always placed her brains, or pleasure if she could, before her heart. Yulia always made sure that she was famous for being rational. That's why her departure because of a sudden following the voice of her heart was astonishing.  
  
Good, old, predictable Yulia Perun startled the whole world and first time in twenty-nine years she decided to do something for herself. It was an uneasy feeling. She...  
  
Yulia's mind made a sudden turn. Her heart stopped beating, she stopped breathing. She was not a twenty-nine-years old woman. She missed her thirtieth birthday. She felt miserable and old at once. Old. She had always thought that at the age of thirty she would have her life in perfect order.  
  
She did something completely different: she was beginning her life once again.  
  
][][][][][][][][][][][][][][  
  
And the trees Yulia was passing by turned their heads to show displeasure or happiness because of the fact she was there. Yulia could not see them, but believed they existed, wiser than people, even wizards, older than the world, free from stupid passions that were to destroy human's world. Free from pressure and desire. Ready only to contemplate the beautiful sky that was above and faithful ground at their roots. They were waiting passively for their fate to fulfill. Yulia decided she did not want to be a tree. She wanted to act. Maybe stupidly, but act.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
AN: So what do you think? Is Yulia going the right way? Comment please! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 


	5. her arrival

Four: Her Arrival  
  
Sirius Black was sitting in a pub's garden drinking his x beer. He was miserable. He expected his life to be happy, peaceful. He thought he had found a reason to live and stay alive. He thought he had found his happiness. It was a great disappointment to him that, except for he was cleared, nothing changed really. And what annoyed him even more was that his friends seemed to pity him for his sadness and illogical sureness he was in love.  
  
His friends irritated him and that's why he was staring at the facades of buildings in Diagon Alley rather than at Remus Lupin (who was watching Sirius with a mixture of pity and fear). Every time Sirius, by accident, looked at Remus who was so concerned, he smiled ironically and turned away. They did not talk much. All Black was able to talk about was his work for the Order (and they usually discussed the order matters at meetings or during meals) and his mysterious, non-existing girl. But he avoided the subject since everyone had told him his idea was insane and he should take psychologist's therapy. Black sometimes only talked with Harry, or about him. For Harry reminded him how stupid he, Sirius, was at the age of fifteen or sixteen and how he didn't change at the age of... He barely could remember how old he was now. On one hand he felt old as the world, though immature. On the other had, first time in the world he felt like a responsible man, a responsible, young, full of desire man.  
  
'You should do something about that, Sirius' said Remus when Sirius' gaze once again avoided his.  
  
'About what, Professor?' mocked Black.  
  
'About your loneliness, mate' Sirius sniggered at those words. 'You should take a girl, have fun...eee... You know what I'm talking about...'  
  
'No, I don't. Speak clearer, boy' sneered Black.  
  
'Sirius' Remus was confused. Talking about man-woman relations wasn't his favourite activity. He was too shy, in a way, to discuss it. Too delicate. The few times in his life when he had a girlfriend, didn't encourage him to talk about it in less sensible way. But Sirius. For Moony Sirius was still the young, handsome boy who had no problems with girls. They were like air to him, though he had never felt stuck to any of them.  
  
'Sirius. You had always been an active man...'  
  
'I'm still active. I fight. I trace. I instruct. I barely have time to eat and you must remember I'm still recovering!!!!' he interrupted.  
  
'You know what sort of activity I mean, man' said Remus, annoyed. 'Man- woman activity...'  
  
'Sex?' Sirius laughed ironically.  
  
'Don't be so direct!'  
  
'Yeah, you're indirect and we can't communicate!'  
  
'What I wanted to say is that you need a girl, Sirius. Every man needs a woman form time to time.'  
  
'I don't need a girl, Moony' Sirius explained calmly. 'I need THE girl from my "death path"'  
  
'Surely, you should look for someone more material.'  
  
'I'm disappointed' laughed Sirius, his voice full of bitterness. 'Since when you treat girls in material way?'  
  
'Since I'm so worried about you' Remus smiled apologetically. 'You should get laid.'  
  
Sirius gazed at his friend, stunned and amazed. He wondered whether to slap him, laugh or laugh loudly.  
  
'Don't you laugh, Sirius. Every man needs sex occasionally. You're not an exception.'  
  
'And what do you want me to do? Shag and dump girls. I won't fall in love.'  
  
'But you'll have your desire fulfilled.'  
  
'I won't fall in love and I won't have my desire fulfilled until I meet the girl. Sorry I have to disappoint you.'  
  
'But, Sirius, be reasonable. The girl doesn't exist and that beautiful Alexia Villson has a crush on you...'  
  
'Who?' Sirius asked sharply. Then he recalled. 'Oh, that nurse...'  
  
'Healer's assistant' corrected Lupin. 'She likes you and, yeah, you could date her.'  
  
'After my dead body.'  
  
'But she's pretty!'  
  
'She's stupid. Who do you think I am! A dog who's interested only in big tits and long legs!??!?!?!?'  
  
'Sorry, Sirius' Remus looked sad and sorry.  
  
'Just leave me alone.' Sirius spoke quietly and sadly. His grief lasted a while and than he gazed at Lupin maliciously. 'And why don't you get yourself laid, man??? That would take those stupid ideas out of your head!! Don't you know where is Tonks right now?' 'I would appreciate for not...' began Lupin but stopped, he would excuse just as Sirius. 'She went to welcome the new teacher and take her to Dumbledore.'  
  
Men went silent. They still couldn't believe that they wanted so much to teach.  
  
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/  
  
Meanwhile at the International Railway Service Station.  
  
Tonks, wearing pink, short hair and a purple, casual robes, was holding a board with shining, beaming, moving letters that from time to time wrote the name of the woman she was waiting for: JULIA PERUN. Tonks couldn't help charming the board to shine, she liked to show off and she knew she could do it without destroying half of London. She didn't know whom to expect and was slightly frightened when the train arrived and hundreds of wizards (and witches, Tonks caught herself on thinking that she expected only Yulia to come by the train) flew out of their compartments straight to her feet.  
  
She didn't know whom to look for. All Dumbledore told her was that she should pick Perun up. But what did the hell Perun looked like?  
  
Then she spotted her. Well, at first Tonks realised that a woman was standing on a platform, staring at her with a strange smile. The woman was wearing a green, summer dress and carrying a small suitcase. She wasn't tall (and even didn't wear high heels, but comfortable, sport sandals), but the way she kept her head, a little bit airy and the way she watched the world, with bored interest made her look distinctive.  
  
The woman waited a while and then slowly approached Tonks. She smiled and her smile was amiable and sad. Tonks thought that she had an unusual ability to mix feeling or expressions that theoretically were antonyms. Strange, but true, deduction, compared with a fact that they hadn't even spoken to each other.  
  
'It's Yulia' said Yulia pointing at the board where letters were combined into "JULIA". 'Hi. I'm Yulia Perun.'  
  
'Hello' hurried with kind answer Tonks and, accidentally, broke the board. Yulia avoided commenting. 'I'm Tonks, please don't ask me about my first name. Dumbledore sent me to take you. He had a meeting at the Ministry or somewhere but would like to welcome you there.'  
  
'So, we can go!' Yulia looked around the Station and gazed at the sky that blurred above London's streets. 'I've never been to London before.'  
  
'So we can take a walk!' shouted Tonks with enthusiasm. 'The Ministry isn't far. Unless... Is your bag heavy?'  
  
Yulia gazed at the pink-haired funny witch who wanted to be called "Tonks" (Yulia was too tactful to ask what was Tonks' real name). She laughed clearly, but not from the depth of her heart.  
  
'No, it's not heavy' she couldn't stop. The accusation of her carrying a heavy thing was amusing. 'Of course it's not heavy. You have to know something...Tonks. I'm a witch. But shhhhh....'  
  
Tonks laughed and showed Yulia London. She talked all the way long and Yulia, who wasn't talking much, was impressed by Tonks' ability to speak for half an hour without a break (or even breath, Yulia thought and smiled).  
  
'why are you smiling?' asked Tonks and Yulia almost blushed, but just in time realised she shouldn't.  
  
'look at the sun playing on the leaves. This is magic' Yulia quickly found another explanation of her sudden smile and, when looked more carefully at the trees she really thought that was magic.  
  
'Sorry I asked, but you don't seem to smile so often, do you. Yeah, the leaved in August are really beautiful. Why are you normally so sad? Oh, excuse me, I don't want to...'  
  
'It's OK' Yulia smiled lightly. 'It's fine. I'm not sad. I'm...'it was hard to find the right words that would show the deep loneliness and impossible and irresistible hope she felt. 'It's not easy to start a new life at the age of thirty.'  
  
Tonks considered these words for a while. Of course, how stupid she was, Yulia must have been old enough to teach, was experienced. But for a single while she hadn't thought she could have been older than herself. She looked young. But her words were differently mature.  
  
They entered the Ministry from the employers' door. After a short walk along the corridors Tonks laughed loudly and shouted at some men standing near coffee bar.  
  
'I'll be right there!! C'mon!' she said to Yulia. 'Dumbledore said he would be expecting you in his Wizengamot office.  
  
'Oh, my! You have Wizengamot at the Ministry. And I thought there's ill situation in Poland!'  
  
'What do you mean' asked Tonks curiously, leading Yulia to the lift and exchanging greetings with tall, one-eyed man.  
  
'You know. That court is dependent. Such things should be divided.'  
  
'Yeah' answered Tonks thoughtfully. 'Albus I guess thinks the same.'  
  
Tonks knocked at the huge, dark wooden door. They heard warm "It's open."  
  
------- ---------- --------------------------------- ----------------------- ------------- ------------------------------------------------------  
  
'It is so good to see you, Yulia, in real life' Dumbledore shook Yulia's hand and offered her a cup of tea. Tonks left to meet the impatient friends and Perun sat in front of Albus, the most respected wizard she knew and was smiling shyly, but aware of the truth of his compliments. 'You look better than at the photos. I can see you recovered.'  
  
'Yes, thank you, Headmaster. Mmm...I always wanted to call you like that,'  
  
'Thank you, Professor Perun. Well, that even sounds nice!'  
  
'My worst dreams coming true! I promised to the world I won't be a teacher. That was when I left school, depressed by the stuff and pupils as well, I guess.' They laughed.  
  
'And, as I remember you always wanted to visit London' she smiled. He remembered well. 'There's still enough time to the school start. I hope you will enjoy our...capital, won't you?'  
  
'I'll do my best' Yulia smiled with relief. That's what she wanted, but more... She became sad. She was going to do things she wanted, but without ... But alone.  
  
'London Pub's atmosphere should cheer you up, Yulia. Still sad after departure?' he asked and she could only nod with confusion.  
  
They left the office and Dumbledore guided her across the corridors.  
  
'I'll have to meet some of my friends, my best Order men' he whispered in her ear. 'Tonks should be with them. She'll take you to the Visitors Hotel, you can't find better one nearby. And she'll show you around,. I'll send you specified instructions on our last educational programmes. And about the party.'  
  
'What party?' asked Yulia. The rest she could understand. Parties was a thing she couldn't stand.  
  
But Dumbledore didn't answer because they entered a high hall with fountain in the middle. It looked as if it had just been renovated (she wondered why; she didn't know the fight with Dark Lord had take place there). Dumbledore directed to a lone man who was standing in the middle, reading paper and ignoring the rest of the world (this couldn't be said about the rest of the world who was totally interested in him). Albus smiled and shouted cheerily.  
  
'Sirius!! Good to see you' Yulia saw the man looked up, grinned lazily and closed the paper. He approached them slowly. 'And where the hell is Remus? And where's Nymphadora?'  
  
The man called Sirius, Yulia thought that must have been the man, innocently put into Azkaban, smiled ironically at Albus.  
  
'I guess Remus decided that he won't waste his happiness, because of my sadness. And I guess' here he smiled like a devil 'he needed Tonks to that.'  
  
They laughed and Sirius spotted small, dark-haired woman, who was accompanying headmaster. She was watching the wonderful, kitschy ceiling with a little bored grimace.  
  
'Now, Sirius' said Dumbledore when he stopped laughing: Sirius self criticism was also as amusing as his story about Tonks and Lupin. 'We'll have to wait for them. I want you to meet someone, Sirius. This is Yulia Perun, our new DADA professor. Yulia, meet Sirius, one of best Order men.'  
  
Sirius watched the woman approached him. She moved in sexy, slowly, lazy way that attracted him so much, first time since his return he felt interested in woman. She took her bag to her left hand, moved her hair away form her face and shook his hand firmly (Sirius always loved when women had a firm, strong, self-confident grip). And she looked in his eyes...  
  
He swallowed hard and found it terribly difficult not to black out. He felt an explosion of something wonderful/awful/wonderful deep in his stomach and a stream of real fire flew through his veins. He couldn't stop holding her hand. He couldn't help staring into her wonderful, green, sad and lonely eyes. The eyes from behind the veil.  
  
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AN Now, my dearest readers and reviewers: what do you think??? Write soon and I promise I will write some more. But I need your opinion. Bis dann..... 


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